Eating: Camille trains to be a supermodel

All the orphanage told us was that Camille liked to eat rice congee and sweet things. The White Swan offered us a dazzling array of foods to choose from. During the first week we offered Camille everything: rice congee, watermelon, banana, rice cereal, egg, rice, bread, cheese, rusks, nashi pear, kiwi fruit, orange, cornflakes, rice bubbles and even cheerios.

She ate nothing. That tiny little mouth clamped shut and totally refused to even taste the smallest morsel. In fact the first thing she took a bite of was paper. Yes, she chewed paper. Ruth, another member of our group, said that Camille was training to be a super-model (a thought which offered no comfort to her despairing mother).

Postscript. Camille has made a giant leap forward and is now eating rice congee (provided it is flavoured with chicken) and she has been seen nibbling on the odd Vita Weet biscuit and potato chip.

The Happy House

Crystal and Sylvia, our guides in China .

Crystal, our guide in Guangzhou, told us a very amusing Chinese tale, which is highly relevant to those adopting babies in China. A Chinese grandmother was not happy when her grandchildren kept making crude references to pooing and weeing in the toilet. Instead she told them to say that they were visiting the happy house to dance and sing. Adoptive parents become totally obsessed with bodily functions, particularly whether their child has been dancing in the happy house (children are often constipated due to stress/change of environment.) I am happy to report that all our little girls are dancing and are feeling much happier for it.

My Singing Frog (Camille crawls ands walks)

My Singing Frog (Camille crawls and walks)

Surprise, surprise. Camille can crawl and walk!!!!

I took Camille down to the special Mattel playroom at the White Swan. There were lots of toys and soft toys to play with, but initially Camille wouldn’t have a bar of them. She sat there crying and just wanted to be picked up by her Mummy. Eventually, after some determined coaxing I managed to get her to crawl. I was very surprised, as that was the first time she actually had moved. And then out of the blue she squatted on her haunches and lifted herself up and began to walk. I was totally flabbergasted. She then spent the next 15 minutes or so walking around the playroom feeling very pleased with herself. Of course when I tried to show this amazing feat to Jo, she totally refused to co-operate. It was as if it had never happened……

The finding place

Chengyue town is about 45 minutes from Zhanjiang. A small bustling town of about 100 thousand people. The streets are dusty, and buildings and roads seem to be always unfinished. Little stalls and shops line all the streets. Bicycles, motorbikes and cars jostle for space in the narrow streets

Camille was found in front of the wooden doors of an old theatre, next to a Chinese temple and opposite a large open air Chinese theatre. A busy part of town. Camille’s birth mother knew she would soon be found. She was dressed in baby clothes and wrapped in adult clothing. A bottle of milk was left with her but no note.

Joanne had the inspired idea to leave a small offering to the gods who had brought my precious Camille to me. So at her finding site we left bananas, mandarins and a tiny little koala. We collected some earth from the spot where she was found.

I struggle to find words to describe this experience: so powerful and emotional. Yet for some reason it gave me a sense of peace to know this part of her story.

The orphanage visit

The orphanage visit

Suixi orphanage is about 40 minutes from the city of Zhanjiang. About 100 children are at the orphanage. Our adoption group had the privilege of being able to visit the orphanage where our little girls came from. Not all orphanages allow such visits, as some years ago there was some bad press (on 60 Minutes) about Chinese orphanages.

Prior to the visit we all felt some apprehension about taking our little girls back. Would they be confused and distressed by familiar surroundings and meeting the carers who had fed, dressed and played with them for so many months? Others had taken their children back and felt that it was a positive experience and they babies were more settled after the experience. So we decided it was an opportunity we didn’t want to miss out on.

We were met by the directors and the carers in front of the orphanage, and upstairs to a small conference room. The table had a beautiful display of flowers and at each place were bananas and mandarins, the main produce of the area. The director invited us to enjoy these and he thanked us for visiting. We were also presented with a mobile with intricate flowers and birds made from paper. The skill and detail in it was extraordinary. The older children in the orphanage (those with disabilities) had made them for all of us. (This was enough to tip me over the edge, as I thought of all those children who would not have the opportunities that Camille will. Australia does not allow adoptions of disabled children. America does, and it has been very moving to see all the children with cleft palates, deafness and other disabilities at the White Swan. I really despair about the hard heart that the Australian government has developed towards those less fortunate.)

We were taken to the nurseries where the children slept. I must confess that I was taken aback by just how basic the facilities were. About 30 little metal cots all lined up against each other and about 30 little babies standing, sitting or sleeping. We now realised the realities of orphanage life. The children were cared for and loved as much as an orphanage could allow. However they obviously spent a lot of time in those little cribs. I doubt whether they had even left the orphanage.

So how did Camille react to the visit? It certainly didn’t upset her and she continued to cling to me. She had a few smiles for her carers and seemed happy and interested in all that was taking place.

The director of the orphanage took us to a local restaurant for lunch where we enjoyed a Chinese banquet. One of the carers managed to get Camille to eat rice congee, a major achievement because at that point she had only drunk milk (practising to be a supermodel according to Ruth, one of the other adoptive parents!).

To finish off this big day we travelled to the babies finding places. But that is another story in itself.

Shamian Island and the White Swan

The White Swan Hotel sits on Shamian island on the Pearl River. This little island is a quiet and peaceful cul-de sac. Formerly it was a French and British concession area, and the island has magnificent colonial style architecture. Apparently the government still own the buildings and fortunately there has been very little in the way of inappropriate development. There are very few cars and the narrow streets are quiet and lined with trees and little parks full of children playing in them. Each morning the locals are out practising tai chi, exercising and having dancing lessons. We even saw a choir practising down by the Pearl River. This is not the real China people come to see but for us it is a wonderful sanctuary for our special journey.

The White Swan is amazing because not only is it a 5 star hotel, but it is a truly Chinese version of it. There are jade sculptures, wooden carvings and paintings everywhere you look. Less is certainly not more in this hotel. Just near the dining area there is a huge waterfall which spans a couple of levels and is landscaped with large rocks as in a typical Chinese style garden. Hundreds of carp swim in this indoor pond. Kind of kitsch and fantastic at the same time.

The White Swan is close to the US Consulate. About 8000 babies are adopted by people from the US each year. The White Swan is where all the families stay while applications are being processed by the Consulate. Everywhere you look there are tiny Chinese babies. In particular breakfasts are fascinating, with babies enjoying rice congee everywhere you look. In the surrounding streets all the shops are geared to the adoption market, with clothes, toys, souvenirs and touters working hard to get your business,

The breakfast area overlooks the massive Pearl River, which makes the Yarra seem like a very small river. Amazing buffet breakfasts cater for American, Chinese and European tastes. There are swimming pools with little waterfalls (sadly not heated), tennis courts, a gymnasium, a few restaurants and probably more that we haven’t yet discovered. A huge complex.

Jo and I are fortunate enough to have a room overlooking the Pearl River. Although the sky is always grey and polluted (sadly I don’t think it’s fog), it is still a magnificent sight. Ships, little ferries and junks constantly pass up and down the river (no sighting of Ping yet). At night there is an extraordinary over the top laser show across the river.

Yes Jo and I are definitely enjoying the perks of our first true 5 star experience. Bring on that room service.

The first bath

The First Bath

As Camille had refused to leave my arms during those first few days I decided not to bath her. I wasn’t sure if she had been in a bath before, so I used a face washer to clean her. However, by the time we reached Zhianjiang and were due to visit the orphanage the next day, I felt that four days without a bath was enough. I didn’t want a whiffy child returning to the orphanage!!! Camille grizzled and cried a little. Whilst I can’t say she enjoyed it, she didn’t seem to hate it either. Of course she was in the bath with her mother, with Jo as the bathhouse assistant, waiting with the big fluffy white towel. Five star hotel rooms. Camille must be wondering what kind of planet she has arrived on!

Those first few days

Those first few days

Those first few days are now a blur. Trying to work out how to feed her: how much, how often. When was she tired? Should I put her in her cot or rock her to sleep? Why was she crying? Was she grieving for all she had lost?

Jo was my rock during those first few days. Sterilising bottles, getting food for me, buying clothes, pushers, anything and everything. Running here, there and everywhere. It wasn’t just me who was exhausted. I just couldn’t have coped without her support and encouragement.

The singles group I am part of strongly suggested that I should be the only person to do everything, so that the Camille would get a clear message about who was her mother and to facilitate attachment. However by the end of the second day (Tuesday 26th Dec.), I was exhausted. Camille and been unsettled and crying long and hard. I had walked her around in the carry bag to settle her all afternoon. I was physically and emotionally exhausted.

Initially when I had given Camille to Jo to nurse, Camille cried and cried. But by that second day I said to Jo, I don’t care what that singles group or experts say, I can’t do this on my own. I need help. By that stage I felt quite confident that Camille had attached to me (on some level at least).

That afternoon Jo went and bought a stroller. The following morning she took Camille out in the stroller before breakfast, saying ‘Don’t worry if she cries, I’ll be right, you need a break’. Camille took to that stroller instantly. She didn’t cry. She had quickly discovered that a stroller takes you to interesting places, fast.

Getting to know Camille

After completing the necessary paperwork we returned to the White Swan. By now it was close to 6pm. The babies were exhausted, as they’d had an 8 hour trip from their orphanage in Suixi to Guangzhou.

Camille sat very quietly with me in the room. Looking at everything, in her quiet way. I changed her nappy, not a sound from her. Of course I now realise she was in shock. Everything that she had known was gone. The familiar food, her carers, the cot she slept in, her playmates.

I put her down on the floor for just a moment, with some toys. This broke her little heart. Big tears, sobbing. So I picked her up and she clung to me. ‘Don’t let me go!’ And she stayed like this for those first few days, attached to me like a little koala. Toilet trips were impossible, she didn’t want me out of her sight. Even when she was totally exhausted and I tried to put her to bed, she cried her little heart out. In the end I lay down on the bed and she fell asleep lying on top of me. Could attachment really have happened so quickly?

Try emailing me

I know that a few people are regularly checking this blog (especially you Vale & Annie).
If anyone wants to email me, then I will have your address and try to send the photos I can't upload to my blog
Let's hope this works

My email address is vickigd@aol.com

I really want to share this experience with all of you so don't hesitate!
Love Vicki

No photos due to earthquake in Taiwan

Just as I was getting ready to post my gorgeous photos of Camille on Boxing Day, there was an earthquake in Taiwan that severed cable connections. I can write posts, but the photos won't upload.

You can't begin to imagine how disappointed I am, I've tried and tried. And now a week later, I've tried again, and it still won't work. I will continue to try, but I'm flat out coping with all the demands of new motherhood, and this is a stress I can do without believe me,

When connections do resume, there will be a flurry of posts, as I'm still keeping a journal, but without photos are not that interesting.....


So let's cross our fingers and see what happens

Love Vicki, Camille and Jo

Meeting Camille

Around 3:30 on Christmas afternoon we all assembled ready to go to the office in Guangzhou where were to meet our babies. Excitement, anticipation, trepidation. We had waited so long for this moment.

Taken by bus to the office in town, we waited for the babies to be brought out, in the specified order. I was to be the fifth out of the six babies.

Finally my name was called. She was tiny, with a small, alert little face. Dressed in a beautiful red Chinese suit. She looked at me carefully, then cried for a short time. She was absolutely gorgeous, a tiny little wisp of a thing with beautiful almond eyes. Then to my amazement, she started to babble. She was talking to me! Blurting her little tongue. Saying mum, mum, mum. An extraordinary moment, totally overwhelming. I had finally met my precious little angel, Camille.